On*Star automatically notified emergency services Sunday morning when Charlie Sheen’s car crash occurred at around 3:45am somewhere off of Mulholland Drive. Charlie was then called at home and notified that his car had been stole and crashed.

That’s the  official story anyway: Charlie Sheen’s car was stolen by persons unknown from his garage, and then crashed off a 400 foot embankment into some brush. Sheen states that he arrived at his home at 8:30 and was in bed by 10:30. He didn’t even know his car was missing until he received a call from On*Star.

I suppose a car thief could have managed to get into his gated community, into his garage and remove it from his property without him knowing it. I suppose then the car thief that kept his wits about him through all that and pulled that shit off somehow crashed said car off a 400 foot cliff????

It makes much more sense to me that somehow a boozy Charlie was behind the wheel but managed to use his druken super powers to get back home before the police called. But then I saw the pictures and realized that there is no way in hell a drunk Sheen could get out of that car and crawl up that ravine. Surprisingly, dude kept a sense of humor about the bazaar incident.

“It was nice to have police come to my house and for once I didn’t have to leave with them,” he told The Insider.