After canceling again on a meeting with Florida Highway Patrol troopers Sunday, Tiger Woods has finally released a statement about the confusing details surrounding his car accident on Black Friday. I mean, did his wife go Britney on him and beat him and his car with the golf club or what?

According to the statement Tiger released on his website it was nothing that dramatic. No angry, betrayed wife aiming for his balls with a nine iron while they were driving down the road. But of course he would take the blame for it if he is guilty…he’s so far in the doghouse you can’t hear him bark at this point.

“The only person responsible for this accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.”

tiger-woods-and-elin-nordeg