Scientology is getting NO LOVE lately.

It all started when Crash director and Million Dollar Baby screenwriter Paul Haggis left the “church” in 2009. His reasons for leaving weren’t clear until this week when The New Yorker published Lawrence Wright’s controversial, nearly 25,000-word exposé on Scientology through the eyes of its the high-profile Hollywood defector. Here’s what you need to know from that very long essay in shorter version.

Haggis told the New Yorker, “I was in a cult for 34 years. Everyone else could see it. I don’t know why I couldn’t. There was a feeling of camaraderie that was something I’d never experienced; all these atheists looking for something to believe in, and all these loners looking for a club to join.”

Couple that New Yorker article with the below segment from The Today Show this morning and this bold statement from Josh Brolin.

Running to the religion “in a time of desperation,” Brolin says he saw some… interesting things. One of them involved John Travolta “practicing Scientology” on Marlon Brando.

“I watched this process going on–it was very physical,” Brolin said. “I was thinking, ‘This is really f**ing bizarre! Then, after ten minutes, Brando opens his eyes and says, ‘That really helped. I actually feel different!’”

Travolta denies that it ever happened, but it sounds like the very closeted JT beat the crap out of an aging Marlon Brando. Not cool Barbarino.

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According to an interview that Jason Lee’s ex-wife Carmen Llywellyn gave to The National Enquirer, Scientology is just a Hollywood cult that masquerades as a church. Although Jason remains a member of the “church”, Carmen left when the couple divorced in 2002.

She claims that people who really know what’s going on like Nicole Kidman, get the hell away from there as fast as they can. In fact, she claims that is reason that Nicole divorced Tom Cruise.

And in an exclusive ENQUIRER interview, Carmen pulls aside the veil of secrecy surrounding the religion that some describe as a cult. She reveals for the first time ever how the church caters to its famous celebrity members, including Cruise , John Travolta, and Lisa Marie Presley.

“I have never spoken about Scientology before, but I still have nightmares about these people. They ruined my life and my career. I ended up addicted to painkillers, and it took three rehabs to get me straight. If I see a Scientologist now, I cross the street.”

They don’t go into any more detail than that…and of course now I’m dying to know how they got this chick hooked on pills.

Jennifer Lopez says she is not a Scientologist, but if it walks like Xenu and talks like Xenu….In a recent interview JLo dished on just how much she knows about Scientology and admits that she’d be cool with Max and Emme getting their education from the church.

When asked if she would send her children to a Scientology school, Jennifer
replied: “Yeah. I wouldn’t mind. Not at all. Because I know that the technologies that they have are very helpful… It’s all about communication. That’s the thing I really don’t like about talking about this. I do know so many great people who choose it as a lifestyle and really follow it and it is their religion… I just wish that people wouldn’t judge it without knowing what it is.”

She goes on to say (again) that even though her father is a 20 year Scientology veteran, and her BFF Leah Remini is at the top of the church hierarchy, that she only uses the dogma when she is feeling blue.
“I know a lot about Scientology. And I know about the practices. I know all about what the technology is and it’s very helpful. So in a sense, yeah, you do call on it.”

Hmmm…a theological ideal that you turn to in times of turmoil and doubt in your life….I could be wrong kids but it sounds like JLo is a true believer.

Tom Cruise and Xenu want to help Amy Winehouse. The Church of Scientology is reaching out to Amy Winehouse and urging her to try its Narconon program. Amy is said to be considering joining, but I highly doubt that she thinks any higher of alien rehabs than she does of human treatment centers.

“She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back To Black album,” said a source.

Normally I would never think going anywhere near a Scientology program is a good idea, but in Amy’s case…I mean really…what has she got to lose. Maybe they can put her through their Scientology Stepford machine and make her more Katie-Like. Who knows, she might be Tom’s next baby-mama.

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Add this tidbit of information to your ‘most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard’ file. Star magazine says that Pink is still so distraught about her marriage ending in divorce that she is ready to become a Scientologo-bot to get past this dark time in her life.

A source tells Star magazine, “Pink is in the beginning stages of checking out the religion, but she has taken to it and she wants to get more involved.”

Good luck with that girl. But don’t surprised if you wake up in 21 days wearing a fake pregnancy belly and married to crazy forty year old actor.

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