Some guy crashed Paris Hilton’s 30th birthday party and not only had free drinks and probably caught herpes just from breathing in the air around her, he stole one of her birthday cakes. Brilliant!

I brush shoulders with the guy who resembles the head of security… “Hey man,” I say to him with an air of I-know-what-I’m-doing. “The cake is in that room, right?” “Yes, sir,” he acknowledges with a slight bow toward the rear of the house. I take my cue and make a bullet for cake city… In one fluid motion, I sidestep a confused waiter, seize the prize, and about face to the door… I pass the security chief again on the way out… I nod purposefully… he nods in return… 40 seconds later I’m in the front seat of a Nissan Maxima with 70 lbs. of awesome in my lap. Success.

You can read more here.

This just proves what you can do with a little confidence and some good old fashion American ingenuity. And balls the size of watermelons. Way to go dude. Best celeb story of the day.

Tragic and shocking new pictures of Lindsay Lohan popped up over the weekend.

Taken back in 2007 the pictures show a whacked out Lindsay Lohan playing (hopefully just playing) with a drug syringe and then all up on Paris Hilton.

Crouching in a dark corner, Lindsay Lohan is poised to inject herself with appears to be a syringe of heroin. The shocking picture shows the trouble Mean Girls star wrapping a tourniquet around her lower arm – the method addicts use to raise a vein. Her right hand hovers the needle over the skin of her left arm.

In other exclusive images, apparently taken at a sleazy Hollywood bash, she snuggles up to party pal Paris Hilton before sharing a passionate kiss with her fellow wildchild.

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It would seem that the country of Japan is a little more discriminating about who they let come and go on their turf than we are. Some lucky dude in Tokyo had the pleasure of telling Paris Hilton yesterday that Japan does need her brand of skank all over their good nation and sent her packing.

“Paris is very disappointed and fought hard to keep her business commitments and see her fans, but she is forced to postpone her commitments in Asia. Paris understands and respects the rules and laws of the immigration authorities in Japan and fully wishes to cooperate with them. Paris looks forward to returning in the future to a country she loves and has been coming to for the past 10 years.”

This is so…gross (for lack of a better word) that I almost didn’t post it.

But then I remember my responsibility to bring you the freshest and juiciest celebrity gossip out there..so here we go.

Ryan Simkin, a former ‘Girls Gone Wild’ cameraman, wrote a tell-all book, and GGW founder Joe Francis has sued to stop its release. During the court proceedings a passage from the book alleging that Paris Hilton smuggled drugs in a Camel cigarette box hidden in a private place was revealed.

Simkin writes that Francis once ordered him to deliver a box of cocaine and ecstasy to Hilton before a trip to Europe:

“I asked if she was flying private, and she said, ‘No, commercial.’ And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X. She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.”

Gawker has an extended excerpt. (The upshot: “I spoke to Joe a couple weeks later. He thanked me again for the favor and said it all arrived safe.”)

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Wonk-eye’s cocaine in the purse story keeps get more ridiculous as the day goes on. Her first excuse was that the purse wasn’t even hers..then she realized that she used that one last time so she changed tactics.

Since the plastic baggie that fell out of ‘the purse’ contained .8 grams of cocaine, and Paris is now facing felony drug-possession charges she is claiming that she was ‘sharing’ the purse with a friend and she thought when the baggie fell out when she went to get some lip balm that it was chewing gum. That’s a new excuse, right?

While speaking to police following a weekend traffic stop, Hilton denied the baggie belonged to her. In fact, she said, the purse wasn’t hers either; she had borrowed it from a friend.  But somehow, according to Hilton, the contents of the purse were split between hers and the friend’s.
She claimed ownership of a broken Albuterol pill, Zig Zag wrappers commonly used to smoke marijuana, $1,300 in cash and credit cards. But, “She said several cosmetic items inside the purse were not hers,” according to the police report.

And of course..the drugs.

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