I’m not sure why Madonna has the right to be calling the shots with regards to how Guy Ritchie parents their children when they are with him. Wasn’t she the one that was off getting her groove on with a baseball player?

While Rocco and David are in London with daddy, they have to follow mommy’s ridiculously strict rules that include not letting the boys read newspapers or magazines, meet any of Guy’s girlfriends, have their photograph taken, drink only kabbalah water, wear clothes made from natural fibers and play only with “spiritually and ethically” sound toys.

I was with her on the tabloid and girlfriend thing, but she lost me on spiritual toys.

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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned….Guy Ritchie should have remembered that famous line before he started calling Madonna a fat-old-ugly-grisley-granny. He managed to hurt that shriveled up heart of hers and now she’s out for vengeance. Insiders say that Guy is gutted to have seen his son off in New York wearing a NY Yankee’s t-shirt.

He’s actually been crying over it,” says the source on the set of Ritchie’s upcoming drama Sherlock Holmes. “He’s in a terrible state but is doing his best to be on form at work. He said she is the ‘lowest of the low’ and is even more determined to fight for his side now,” the source says.

Guy’s friends say that he refuses to sink to her level, but that he does have a closet full of Madonna skeletons just in case he need to pull out the big guns later.

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Madonna can’t do anything normal or small. Even her divorce is going to be a big, ugly production. Madge started the ‘divorce show’ at her concert in Boston last night when casually slammed her soon to be ex-husband, Guy Ritchie.

Before she sang ‘Miles Away’, which Madonna previously claimed was inspired by Ritchie, she told the audience: ‘This song is for the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. God knows I do.’

Everyone is gearing up for what is being described as the most costly divorce in British history, but so far all the only offer Madge has put on the table is to let Guy walk away with their country estate Ashcombe House, which is worth some £12million, plus a lump sum of as little as £15million. She has got some brass cahones, that one. Madonna and Guy have acquired over $75 million dollars together over their eight year marriage…how is it fair that he only gets $27 mil? If anything, he deserves more for having to live with The Mean One. The fight may not be as bad as we fear, some of Ritchie’s mates say that he won’t take a dime of her money and will walk quietly away, look a good  British boy.

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Just days after Madonna was seen out canoodling with Alex Rodriguez again, the news that her marriage is officially over was announced today.

Madonna and filmmaker Guy Ritchie will end their marriage after nearly eight years, the couple said in a joint statement Wednesday. The couple asked the media to “maintain respect for their family at this difficult time,” said the statement, e-mailed to The Associated Press by Liz Rosenberg, Madonna’s publicist.

You gotta give Madge and Guy credit. They tried everything to save their troubled marriage. I mean, if an intensive Kabbalah course can’t save your marriage, then what can? Oh I dont’ know. How bout not touring the world when your marriage is in trouble and not having an affair with a superstar athlete?

Be prepared to hear about this one for the next year, as these two fight it out over millions of dollars.

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