It’s Camelot lost.

George Clooney would have made the perfect American President. If only he hadn’t partied hardy most of his life and completely refused to settle down. Hell, he’s as settled now as he’s ever been and there was news of girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis giving lap dances over the weekend.

In January when most of his peers were gearing up for the Academy Awards, Clooney was in the South Sudan helping its people achieve independence from an oppressive government based in the northern capital of Khartoum. Yeah, that’s right.

Though Clooney has become a veritable celebrity-statesman, his political aspirations do not include a move to Washington. He confessed any political ambitions would be quelled by unsavory skeletons in his closet, clarifying, “I f–ked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that’s the truth.” Clooney continued to joke that if he ran for office his campaign slogan would be ‘I drank the bong water.’

While Clooney’s honesty may prevent an expressly political career, Clooney’s star power affords him enough sway to legitimately affect policy makers. “Bono’s model really worked,” Clooney says. “There is more attention on celebrity than ever before–and there is a use for that besides selling products.”

George Clooney swore he would never marry again but it sure seems like things are getting serious between him and Elisabetta Canalis. He stood by her through the cocaine/hooker scandal and now he’s gone all the way to Sardinia to meet her parents.

George and Elisabetta spent two nights in the home that she grew up in with her parents Cesare and Bruna Canalis.

During their time on the island, the couple took a stroll through the tiny town of Trenuraghes and went for a quiet dinner at a local favorite known for their Sardinian specialties, La rosa dei venti.

After spending some quality time with the parents, George and Liz checked into a room at the legendary Hotel Villa Las Tronas for some alone time. Because no one likes to have sex at their parents house.

Honestly, could George Clooney be more of a dreamboat? Everything this man does just makes me swoon.

He even managed to turn a boring awards show acceptance speech into a sexy, poignant call to action for us all to be better people.

George Clooney accepted the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award at Sunday’s Emmys for having made a life-changing impact upon society:

It’s important to remember how much good can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention and press. And the people who really need the spotlight: the Haitians, the Sudanese, people in the Gulf Coast.. Pakistan, they can’t get any.

I thought maybe there was a way to combine the two. I have offered to go to the south Sudan and have a wardrobe malfunction, but it was pointed out to me that I’m 49 and the consensus was that it would just be upsetting and kind of sad.

When the disaster happens, everybody wants to help, everybody in this room wants to help, everybody at home wants to help. The hard part is seven months later, five years later, when we’re on to a new story. Honestly, we fail at that, most of the time. That’s the facts.

I fail at that.

So here’s hoping that some very bright person right here in the room or at home watching can help find a way to keep the spotlight burning on these heartbreaking situations that continue to be heartbreaking long after the cameras go away. That would be an impressive accomplishment. Thank you.

George Clooney’s current gorgeous flava of the month Elisabetta Canalis has been implicated in a complicated Italian cocaine and prostitution scandal. RadarOnline reports that two night clubs in Milan were recently shut down after police discovered that they were running a prostitution ring. A gorgeous Italian female madam was pimping out pretty girls into the clubs to entertain the VIPS..sort of like what Rachel Uchitel did for Tiger Woods.

The girls’ job would be to fill up the men with booze and coke then just as everyone was having a grand old time they’d reveal their price for the rest of the evening and well…there are probably only a handful of drunk, coked up men that can resist a gorgeous Italian hooker.

Elisabetta’s name came up when one of the club’s hookers, a model from Paris named Karima, testified that she did coke with Elisabetta on October 21, 2008. Karima never said that Elisabetta was a fellow prostitute but she also didn’t say what she was doing hanging out doing drugs with the whores either.

I’m sure George Clooney doesn’t give a crap. Elisabetta has almost reached her expiration date with the George anyway.

George Clooney spoke with MTV News correspondent Sway Calloway this afternoon about his goals for Friday’s multi-network Hope For Haiti Now: A Global Benefit For Earthquake Relief telethon, which airs tomorrow @ 8 PM.

George will co-host the event alongside Wyclef Jean, and spoke with Sway about how the historic television event came together, how the telethon will make the most impact and the role of music in times of tragedy.

Wyclef Jean, Bruce Springsteen, Jennifer Hudson, Mary J. Blige, Shakira, and Sting will join Madonna in New York City to perform. Alicia Keys, Christina Aguilera, Dave Matthews, John Legend, Justin Timberlake, Stevie Wonder and Taylor Swift will perform live from the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles, while Bono, The Edge, Jay-Z, and Rihanna will join Beyonce in London.