The news broke earlier this afternoon that Charlie Sheen has been officially fired from Two and a Half Men.

Warner Bros. issued the following statement: “After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ effective immediately.”

Charlie’s reaction:

“This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”

That bit about not wearing the silly shirts ever again is about the smartest thing I’ve heard him say since he transcended and became a bitchin’ rock star from Mars.

Finally, after a year of crazy addict behavior…CBS is finally done with Charlie Sheen.

The past few days Charlie has been at war with Two and Half Men’s creator and producers via TMZ and several radio call in shows. Wednesday Charlie took off a private plane with his ex-wife and his ‘goddessess’ to live his incredibly awesome life and he gave every single detail to the media. Below are some excerpts from his ranting interview on the Alex Jones Show…it’s worth the read. Then below that the response letter to Chuck Lorre on canceling his show.

Read all about Charlie’s awesomeness here my friends. I bet you  had no idea he was so awesome. I keep repeating awesome because that’s what Charlie wants us all to believe. He is so awesome his brained healed his addiction. He has magic in his fingers, he is a rock star, he is the only talent in town and the Two and Half Men fans are HIS people. He wants us all to know that he is going to continue his awesome life of orgies and rugs on his private island with his “family” and to hell with everyone else. Of course when Charlie Sheen says ‘family’ he isn’t referring to his countless kids..he is talking about the porn stars he is paying to to tell him he is awesome 100 times a day.

Way to go King Awesome. You just cost tons of people their jobs. You.Are.So.Freaking.Awesome. – Go to rehab you IDIOT.

On his sobriety:
“Here’s your pee test. Next one goes in your mouth.”

On his three girlfriends (we assume):
“The goddesses. I don’t believe the term is good enough. But when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available… What we all have is a marriage of the heart.”

On who’s holding him back:
“I’m dealing with fools and trolls.. I don’t have time for their judgment and stupidity. You know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and say ‘I can’t process it.’ Well no, you never will. Just sit back and enjoy the show.”

On why he’s better than the average bear:
“I didn’t care about that vanity card. That’s one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in almost a decade. If I bring up these turds, these little homunculese (?) losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold. Because I have real fame and they have nothing.”

On his beef with “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre:
“I’m tired of being told you can’t talk about that. Bull [expletive]. It’s nothing this side of deplorable that Chaim Levine — yeah that’s his real name mistook this rock star for his exit strategy. I embarrassed him in front of his children by healing at a pace that his brain can’t process. Last time I checked, Chaim, I’ve spent the last decade turning your tin cans into gold. And this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he’s above the law. You’ve been warned, dude, bring it.”

On his self-confidence:
“I got magic. I got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time, and this includes naps, I’m an F18 bro and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordinance to the ground.”

On his latest tattoo:
“Getting a tattoo during the death from above scene [in 'Apocalypse Now']. It’s a banner from the death card that Kilgore is throwing on his victims. But also on it is the apple from ‘The Giving Tree.’ There’s my life. Deal with it. Oh wait, can’t process it. Losers. Winning. Buh-bye!”

On the prospect of a “Major League 3″:
“I agreed to do it. There’s just one detail they need to work out. If I’m in it it’s a smash. If I’m not, it’s a turd that opens on a tug boat

Charlie’s letter to Chuck Lorre:

What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.

Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…

Charlie Sheen

You knew it was coming. Every single one of the ladies on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wants crazy ass Camille Grammer OFF.

But it ain’t gonna happen. At least not for season two. She’s nuts and is most likely giving all the other woman ulcers, but her kind of crazy is ratings gold. Plus, next season they’ll be able to focus on her divorce will be super juicy.

The campaign to get her fired is being led by Kyle …but all the other ladies are in agreement. But the producers will keep her around for season two just like they did with Danielle on the New Jersey show. By then they should have some other angle to work for ratings.

Of course she says she quit. She is trying to save face. The truth is she got fired from the only acting job she’s had in over a year. Maybe longer.

She better hope that that photoshoots and ads keep coming in or she is going to end up bankrupt.

It’s been reported today that Lindsay was fired from the planned Linda Lovelace biopic “Inferno.” But sources who have spoken to Lindsay within the last hour tell us Lindsay decided to drop out from the film so that she could focus more on her recovery. We’re told Lindsay felt the project no longer felt right — but that her and the director, Matthew Wilder, remain on good terms and hope to work together in the future.

Malin Akerman (Couples Retreat, Watchmen, 27 Dresses) is now confirmed to replace Lindsay Lohan in Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story from director/writer Matthew Wilder’s script, which made the 2008 Black List. “My understanding is that Lindsay was dropped as she’s impossible to insure and the producers loved Malin,” an insider says.

Malin’s upcoming movies include Wanderlust (Paul Rudd, Jen Aniston), Happythankyoumoreplease (Josh Radnor) and The Bang Bang Club (Taylor Kitsch, Ryan Philippe).

Source

Hell hath no fury like people Mel Gibson has pissed off.  He just lost his “comeback” cameo in what is sure to be the biggest comedy of the year for 2011.

Mel’s role as a tattoo artist in The Hangover 2 was confirmed Tuesday by a source close to production, but director Todd Phillips said Thursday that Mel will no longer be involved with the movie.

Phillips tells The Wrap: “I thought Mel would have been great in the movie and I had the full backing of Jeff Robinov and his team. But I realize filmmaking is a collaborative effort, and this decision ultimately did not have the full support of my entire cast and crew.”

I guess Jodi Foster was wrong. Everyone, in fact, does not love Mel Gibson.