Lindsay Lohan says she is really the victim in this rehab worker/ battery thing. Now that she is facing yet another violation of her probation for sneaking out of rehab and drinking, she has come up with a plausible story to keep her out of jail.

So the rehab worker says Lindsay was caught sneaking back in the facility after a night out and refused a breathalizer test. A confrontation ensued and the worker says Lindsay pushed her and sprained her arm and Lindsay says the worker screamed at her so much that ‘she made her cry’.

Lindsay says that she was not drinking, that she had just left without permission to get her hair did. Since the worker failed to get a Lilo to consent to a breathalizer test there is no proof that she was drinking and that idiot rehab worker went straight to TMZ to get some cash and got her dumb ass fired. No her side of the story is no longer credible.

In the end Lindsay will be cleared, again and finish up her rehab in three weeks just in time to hit the clubs by the Chinese New Year!

The sober coach that the producers of The Beautiful Life hired for Mischa Barton either had the night off or he/she really sucks at their job.

Mischa Barton seemed to have trouble orienting herself at the G- star after-party at the Bowery Hotel. Barton — who recently attributed an involuntary hospitalization to wisdom-teeth complications — stum bled up to the check-in table with a posse of eight. “She kept saying, in a really spacey, weird British accent, ‘Like, I’m with the deejay. I to tally know the deejay. I’m here for the deejay,’ ” laughs our spy. “She was slurring her words.” After being let in, we’re told that Barton “needed to be escorted to the deejay booth” where she proceeded to “stand for about an hour, dancing in her own world. I don’t think her eyes were open to full capacity — or even half capacity — the whole time she was there.

Is there a reason that someone doesn’t pack her off to rehab with Burt Reynolds (who by the way…rocks for going to rehab at 73 years old!!!) so she can really get sober? Oh yeah….they  need to exploit her a little more for ratings.

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I just don’t think the Cirque Rehab center in Utah has a very sustainable treatment program. It seems like every single celebrity that comes out of that place backslides after about one year.

Lindsay Lohan, Melanie Griffith, and now Kristen Dunst have all fallon off the wagon after receiving treatment there for their addictions.

She’s a year and a half removed from her rehab stint, but Kirsten Dunst was spotted stumbling drunk at the Tropicana bar at the Roosevelt hotel in Los Angeles on August 18, say several eyewitnesses.

Apparently she was throwing back double vodkas all night. Sigh…another child star gone bad.

No one is accusing anyone of anything here…but these pictures of Kate Moss tell a story I hope is not true.

Kate in September 2008

Kate in November 2008

Kate in January 2009

These pictures my friends, are why sweet Lindsay Lohan has been in such a pissy mood with the paparazzi lately.

These pictures of Lindsay hangin’ with girlfriend Samantha Ronson show her mixing Red Bull and Vodka in a Washington nightclub.

LiLo is under the false impression that we all believe she has been clean and sober since leaving rehab last year.