I have really developed a huge appreciate for Alec Baldwin over the past few years. Say what you will about him, he is a fantastic performer, an elegant speaker and when he preaches the truth at you he is usually dead on. Political or otherwise. Case in point..his open letter to Charlie Sheen.

You can read it in it’s entirety here, or just read the past few paragraphs below.

You can’t win. Really. You can’t. When executives at studios and networks move up to the highest ranks, they are given a book. The book is called How to Handle Actors. And one principle held dear in that book is that no actor is greater than the show itself when the show is a hit. And, in that regard, they are often right. Add to that the fact that the actor who is torturing their diseased egos is a drug-addled, porn star-squiring, near-Joycean Internet ranter, and they really want you to go.

Granted, it didn’t get real until you insulted them. And your suit may have real grounds.

But you know what you should do? Take a nap. Get a shower. Call Chuck. Go on Letterman and make an apology. Write a huge check to the B’Nai Brith. And then beg for your job back. Your fans demand it. You will never win because when you are as big a douchebag as some of these guys are, they have no choice but to snuff you. (Do you secretly want to get snuffed? So you can go back and make movies?)

Sober up, Charlie. And get back on TV, if it’s not too late. This is America. You want to really piss off Chuck and Warner Brothers and CBS? Beg for America’s forgiveness. They will give it to you. And then go back. You are a great television star. And you’ve got the gig. As I learned from closely observing Tony Bennett so I could impersonate him on SNL, this is supposed to be fun.

P.S…. buy Cryer a really nice car.

As of 10:30 pm Cali time last night….police were finishing up a search of Charlie Sheen’s home. No one was arrested and the police say that his high warlockness was cooperative.

The cops raided Charlie’s house after receiving a call earlier today that he had threatened to harm himself with a firearm.  Not only were they concerned about his safety, but under Charlie and Brooke Mueller’s custody agreement he is not allowed to have a firearm in his home.

At the time of this update the police are still milling around Charlie’s house, but the warlock in is the backyard eating hamburgers with his buddies and his lawyer. As seen in the above video.

The authorities also confirmed they were not there to put Charlie under a much needed 5150 psychiatric hold. Apparently the entire raid was super bitchin’ and the rock star from Mars handled it like a champ. Just after the video was shot he tweeted: “#fastball; the LAPD were AWESOME. Absolute pros! they can protect and serve this Warlock anytime!!! c”

So who made the freakin’ call? What was the king idiot threatening to do?

Go Ducky!

Jon Cryer seems to be the only adult involved in the chaos that Charlie Sheen has created that has kept his sense of humor. Jon appeared on The Conan O’Brien Show and responded to being called a traitorous troll by his former co-star.

Meanwhile, Charlie is taking his crazy on the road. Seriously. He is going on the road and doing some stand-up rant shows that he has oh so cleverly titled “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option”.

At least someone on Charlie Sheen’s team has sense enough to put the Lenny Bruce spin on his Sheen’s Korner rants. Now that Brooke Mueller’s attorneys have threatened to use his video rants against during their custody battle Chuck claims that the lunatic we all see on Ustream everyday is just an alter-ego.

“It’s a character in a piece of fiction. … Think Lenny Bruce or the Mitchell Bros. It’s part of my shtick.”
… As we previously reported, Mueller’s legal team of Sorrell Trope and Lori Howe will use that webcast to make an argument that the embattled actor is spiraling out of control.
Responding to that, Sheen told RadarOnline.com: “OK, well they should use Two and Half Men to say I am a drunk and sleep with wh*res. That’s all I am gonna say. That’s my answer. Bring it. It’s so f*cking stupid, if that’s the best they’ve got.“

Live video by Ustream

I mentioned yesterday that Charlie Sheen is planning on returning to UStream this coming Saturday night with episode two of Sheen’s Korner. Last weekend’s 100K watchers wasn’t really enough to ensure he gets his own talk show so this week he is upping the crazy to draw more numbers.

The problem is that the past few weeks insanity was REAL. A mental and emotional break-down of epic proportions all caught on camera. But this week’s crazy is all for PR. It’s all premeditated and doesn’t have the shock and awe of those first few magical days.

Case in point, for some reason Charlie and co. made a rooftop appearance yesterday where he drank ‘tiger blood’ and waved a giant machete around. All pre-planned and not interesting.

This video..on the hand…is pure unadulterated Charlie Sheen Crazy at it’s BEST. (Turn the volume down at work..he drops the F-bomb right off the bat)