I don’t follow baseball very closely these days, but apparently Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander really stunk it up Tuesday night at the All-Star Game. The sports writers are saying his performance was so out of character that something or someone was to blame. And as usual, they are gonna blame it on the chick. I mean, really blame it on the gorgeous swim suit model the dude is boinking. It’s not HIS fault he sucked, right?
The defending American League MVP and Cy Young winner has been lights out for the majority of the season for the Detroit Tigers. However, his showing during the Midsummer Classic was anything but All-Star worthy. Beat up from the get-go, Verlander was given the loss after the National League’s 8-0 victory, which got a healthy boost by way of a five-run first inning.
What was going on with Verlander? What happened to the pitcher baseball fans have come to know and respect for his dazzling arsenal and stingy ways on the mound? Verlander gave up four hits, five earned-runs and walked two, resulting in a 5-0 deficit after his first, and only, inning of play.
Surely there is an explanation for all of this. And a good one, too. Blame it on Kate Upton, who reportedly spent at least Thursday and Friday with — or in close proximity to — Verlander. The 20-year-old bikini model obviously had some type of negative impact on Verlander’s pitching. That’s the only way to explain it. Clearly, she stole his mojo.
To be fair the douche bag who wrote this did follow it up by this tiny admittance that maybe, just maybe there is something else going on..but he didn’t really mean it…read this:
I’m clearly kidding about the Upton jinx. A mere mortal couldn’t have affected Verlander in such a manner. He’s not human. He’s impervious to that sort of stuff, right? But if you saw a photo of Upton, you’d soon know that she may hold the power to make even a pitching machine like Verlander have a bad night.