So much crap hit the fan after the Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel affair was exposed that we forget she was the catalyst in this ugly scandal. Lots of hookers and porn stars came forward after her, but she was the one that toppled the Woods House of Cards.

The mainstream press have been trying to figure out what Elin Woods was going to do for months now, but I think most of knew that there was no way in hell she was going to stay married to Tiger after this international humiliation she and her kids have had to go through. But she has been biding her time to get the best deal possible for her future and her little future golfers. And boy howdy…did she get it!

News broke this morning that Tiger and Elin are very close to signing a $750 million divorce settlement. $75o MILLION DOLLARS people. That’s alot even for Tiger Woods to pay out. It’s a shocking deal but it’s thought to be so extreme because Elin will have to agree to a lifetime confidentiality clause that will prevent her from her ever releasing a tell-all book discussing her private life while she was married to Tiger.

I’d say that’s a fair deal. Her kids don’t need anymore of their daddy’s dirty laundry aired anyway. In fact, Tiger should add another mil in the deal for all the therapy his kids are going to need when they get old enough to realize what happened when their perfect life fell apart.

Let me preface this by saying I’m sorry there are so many downer stories about divorce today. Celebrity break-ups come in groups, like deaths.

Elin Woods is oh-vah Tiger Woods and his strippers/porn stars/general trashy women. Word on the street is that she’s seriously working with a divorce attorney and she is taking the kids to Sweden so they don’t have live with their fathers shame.

Elin skipped his comeback at the Masters and was described as “disgusted and outraged” by the new Nike ad featuring a voiceover by his late father.

After the Masters, Elin was seen leaving Florida, destination unknown.

“Elin was violently angry over this commercial and thought it was a cheesy thing to do,” a friend says. “She wouldn’t have gone near the Masters under any condition, but that just made her even madder. She is over Tiger. I wouldn’t be surprised if she files for divorce soon.”

Us Magazine has published the most shocking piece of news to come out of the Tiger Woods sex scandal yet. He  nailed country music sweetheart LeAnn Rimes!!!

Woods, now 34, and Rimes, 27, “went out a few times” before she wed soon-to-be ex-husband Dean Shereme tn 2002, says a source.

Alas, Rimes’ dad protested because he thought his teen daughter was too young to date the famed golfer, seven years her senior. “Then her dad almost had a heart attack,” the source adds. “And he made her stop seeing Tiger.”

It’s all cool to take your sick sex addiction out on paid strippers and porn stars..but wow…LeAnn Rimes?

This is what she should have done—-

Run!

Russell Simmons has been Twittering about Haiti and what’s going on all day. I would have never thought to send dog and cat food, you?

Uncle Rush also filled us in on Tiger Woods guilty good deed.

I heard tiger woods donating to send a cargo plane with a mobile hospital out there. Keep ur prayers high!

You might be thinking, ‘Just one mobile hospital plane? Really, Tiger? You could afford to send an entire fleet!”  And if we were talking about the old, pre-cheating Tiger you would be right. You know, back before Elin took half his sh*t.

You  may have noticed that I stopped reporting on the Tiger Woods scandal. I’m so over it. Once Elin got away the kids I lost interest.

But then this popped up today and pulled me right back down into it. I can’t decided if going ahead with this Tiger Woods shirtless cover was  completely asinine or majorly brilliant move.

Vanity Fair’s February 2010 issue features a shirtless Tiger pumping iron, presumably looking sexy? Given the timing it could be huge seller or a major bomb. I personally don’t find a shirtless, creepy picture of a sex addict attractive but that’s just me.