Since I was forced to watched this heinous Heidi Montag performance on the Miss Universe Pageant last night, I think it’s only fair that ya’ll see it too. It’s a human experience we must all share, to make us stronger.

Please enjoy Heidi lip-synching and stumbling her way through her crappy song Body Language.

Heidi is in rehearsals to perform her new song “Body Language” at the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas on August 23th.

Spencer and his wife Heidi Montag howed up to the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Los Angeles movie premiere last night with an advanced copy of the September issue of Playboy magazine. The cover shows Heidi cover in mud wearing a white bikini with the Playboy bunny emblem carved out on her torso.

She’s planning to share the specifics of her routine of “full-body, intense resistance exercises” in a new downloadable workout series developed with trainer Chad Waterbury.

The Heidi Workout will also offer nutritional advice based on guidelines Waterbury gave to the 22-year-old TV star. She avoids all “white” foods like carbs, but fills up instead on lean meats including grass-fed beef – (”Heidi loves steak!” Waterbury says) – and green vegetables, apples and berries. “Heidi has a really healthy appetite,” Waterbury adds. “There’s no way she is going to deprive herself. ”

Source

“Since Montag recently agreed to pose for Playboy, SCORES figured the publicity-hungry starlet would jump at the opportunity to be center stage at one of New York’s most entertaining nightclubs,” SCORES General Manager Ed Norwick said in a press release issued last week.

The club extended their generous offer to Heidi in the eloquently-written letter below:

Dear Mrs. Heidi Pratt,

As the nation watched you and your husband brave the jungle on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here and continue to brave the ups and downs of ‘The Hills’ and Lauren Conrad, we would like to take this time to present you with an opportunity that will allow you to be center stage—and have a lot of fun while doing so, the letter reads.

As we took note that you will be posing in Playboy soon, we thought you may be interested in dabbling in yet another adventure that will most definitely expose your softer side. As we recently re-opened after a short hiatus, SCORES would be honored to have you dance at our club on the main stage each night for five days, upon which, we will offer you a fee of $25,000.

Best,

Ed Norwick

Source

Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for…being infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we’re at minute 11 of their 15.

Heidi reciprocated by ripping the weatherman on Ryan Seacrest’s radio for “personally attacking” her on live TV:

“I was shocked at how rude he was – I was crying afterwards because I couldn’t believe I felt personally attacked … I wanted to say to him, do you feel proud of how you’re talking to me right now? I’m just a young woman and you’re coming at me so aggressively and meanly [sic] and mean-spirited.”

She added, “I just wanted to talk about the show and my experience there and how fun it was, and he just made it a very uncomfortable and awful experience … I really would advise women especially to be careful around him because I feel like he definitely came and attacked me and I did not appreciate that at all.”

After Spencer nursed his sick wife back to health at the Season’s, her threw her in a bikini for one last photo shoot before returning to L.A.

…and claiming her severe dehydration was just ‘demons coming out of her’…

we get the news that Heidi (the hypocritical Christian) is going to be getting naked for Playboy.

Details of her Playboy photos are, um, scant: “There is nudity. It’s tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it,” says a source.

“We’re begging NBC to let us back in!” Spencer said in an email to Extra Tv late Tuesday. Extra sources claim the couple is waiting for a helicopter to taken them back to the set as we speak.  According to I’m A Celebrity…rules, the couple cannot return to the show unless the cast agrees. America may also be asked to vote on whether they can come back as well.

Oh please let us vote!!! I tried to watch IACGMOOH tonight and I can tell you right now…without Speidi’s nonsense that show is boooring.

Source

I’ll just let you look at these pictures from some new something stupid they are involved in and you can come up with your own way to describe how absolutely ridonkuloud these two are.

Playboy boss Hugh Hefner has confirmed reports newlywedHeidi Montag is to bare all for the men’s magazine. The Hills star, who wed longtime boyfriend and reality TV co-star Spencer Pratt last week, has let it slip she’s in talks to pose naked in the popular publication – and bank $500,000.

Half a mil??? Is a naked Heidi Montag worth a half a mil in this economy? Heidi says she will doing the pictorial as a wedding gift for Spencer. And Spencer is taking that gift straight to the bank.

Source

Just. The. Two. Most. Ridiculous. People. In. The.World.Ever.

“He’s manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi. I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged. Spencer has tried to cut everyone out of her life. I’ve been honest with Heidi, and it’s caused our relationship to decline. I’m more devastated about that than the marriage, because I’m confident the marriage won’t work out.”

Probably not…but at least they will always have these gorgeous wedding rings.

I know this is shocking and disappointing news for some of you, but we’ve just found out that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s quickie Mexican wedding might not be legal. I know….it sucks, right?

In their rush to become man and wife for the MTV camera crew before the Thanksgiving holiday they failed to acquire all the things the United States requires to recognize a couple as legally married. Little things like blood tests, proof of i.d. and a silly little piece of paper called a marriage certificate.

Oh well…at least now they have a real reason to have another big old thousand picture-tabloid selling tacky-ass wedding for all The Hills fans.