Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are so lame, that I don’t doubt for one minute that they would ‘fake a pregnancy’ for press. These two celebutards probably spent hours finding a dress that would give Heidi the appearance of a baby bump…ugh…when will MTV put us all out of our misery and cancel that damn show????

The girls of “The Hills” are definitely L.A. It Girls…all of them except for Heidi Montag. Lauren Conrad and Aurdina Patridge get tons of free designers duds, but no one want Heidi-Ho wearing their name. Trash you have a name and it is Heidi.

One of Los Angeles’ leading fashion reps (who is often responsible for dressing the likes of Miley Cyrus, Angelina Jolie, Fergie and Carmen Electra) told Pop Tarts that Heidi’s public persona is a little too cheap even for casual (but classy) brands.

“They don’t want their stuff on Heidi, even despite the fact that she is very media-friendly and is photographed a lot,” the rep said. “It’s just not the caliber of celebrity most clients go for.”

Source

Warning: This post may cause headaches or stomach cramps when you found out how much cash these extremely untalented idiots are making per episode while you slave away in your cube for a pittance.

Lauren Conrad: $75,000 per episode
Heidi Montag: $65,000 per episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 per episode
Audrina Patridge: $35,000 per episode
Whitney Port: $20,000 per episode
Brody Jenner: $10,000 per episode
Lauren “Lo” Bosworth: $10,000 per episode
Stephanie Pratt: $8,000 per episode

This new information gives me new insight into why someone would be as colossally cheesy and embarrass themselves on a daily basis. Is it really possible these idiots are making twice as much as 99% of our counties teachers??!! That sound you hear is me banging my head against a wall.

Isn’t Heidi Montag cheesy enough in this decade? Does she really need to go ‘retro-80’s cheese’?

What’s even funnier than Heidi’s attempt at a club dance song, is the fact that Spencer Pratt told Us Magazine that this is;  “It’s the greatest song of my life,” And that, my friends is very sad.

Please enjoy this video of the lovely, but cheesy Heidi Montag to go along with her latest single, “Fashion.” We especially love the big “HEIDI” shout at the beginning.

Heidi Montag is such a good friend. Heidi’s been working tirelessly to get her friend Lauren Conrad’s sex tape back. (Insert your own rolling eyes icon here) Heidi explained the situation to David Letterman on Wednesday nights show.

“I tried to help her get it back for, like, a year. I was like, ‘You gotta get it back, you gotta do something about this.’”

When Conrad’s ex Jason Wahler threatened to release it, Montag claimed, “she was like, ‘I don’t know what to do…’ I was like, ‘Well, let’s get it back.’

Asked when the tape would come out, she told Letterman, “I don’t know. I’m wondering that myself.”

Whatever!!….this is the longest wild goose chase for a non-existent sex tape we’ve ever seen.

Here is it kids. The homemade Spencer Pratt directed video of his fake girlfriend, Heidi Montag’s new single, Higher. It’s mostly just a lot of Heidi frockling on the beach.

Watch it if you dare!

For your enjoyment this cold wintery Monday morn. We hesitate to say these are bikini “candids” of Heidi Montag, because it’s obvious she was aware of the camera. But we suspect if you are a fan of Heidi and her show The Hills you don’t mind the fake reality of her life.

We just really dig that classy Girls Gone Wild bikini she is rockin’.  CLICK HERE to see the entire set of silly Heidi candids. (NSFW site)