As if Monday’s didn’t suck enough…

Since I was forced to watched this heinous Heidi Montag performance on the Miss Universe Pageant last night, I think it’s only fair that ya’ll see it too. It’s a human experience we must all share, to make us stronger.

Please enjoy Heidi lip-synching and stumbling her way through her crappy song Body Language.

Let me apologize in advance if these pictures of the very white and very untalented Heidi Montag offend anyone. I know she is annoying as hell but she is only doing her part to spread the word of God through Playboy pictorials and girating half-naked at the Miss Universe pageant.

Heidi is in rehearsals to perform her new song “Body Language” at the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas on August 23th.

Spencer Pratt is either cheap bastard or a marketing genius. He films all of his wife “music” videos himself and to muster up some PR for her new Playboy pictorial he ho’ed her out on the red carpet a movie premiere….that neither one of them are in. Tacky, no?

Spencer and his wife Heidi Montag howed up to the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Los Angeles movie premiere last night with an advanced copy of the September issue of Playboy magazine. The cover shows Heidi cover in mud wearing a white bikini with the Playboy bunny emblem carved out on her torso.

Spencer Pratt has found a new way to whore out his wife. Not only does Spence have Heidi Montag getting naked in September’s Playboy he’s gonna have her giving bad workout and nutritional advice to millions of young girls who foolishly want to look like her.

She’s planning to share the specifics of her routine of “full-body, intense resistance exercises” in a new downloadable workout series developed with trainer Chad Waterbury.

The Heidi Workout will also offer nutritional advice based on guidelines Waterbury gave to the 22-year-old TV star. She avoids all “white” foods like carbs, but fills up instead on lean meats including grass-fed beef – (”Heidi loves steak!” Waterbury says) – and green vegetables, apples and berries. “Heidi has a really healthy appetite,” Waterbury adds. “There’s no way she is going to deprive herself. ”

Source

The infamous Scores strip club in NYC has gotten it’s affairs back in order after closing last year and is trying to reclaim it’s once legendary status. How do you do that? You get bible-thumping Heidi Montag to shake her ass on a pole for your customers.

“Since Montag recently agreed to pose for Playboy, SCORES figured the publicity-hungry starlet would jump at the opportunity to be center stage at one of New York’s most entertaining nightclubs,” SCORES General Manager Ed Norwick said in a press release issued last week.

The club extended their generous offer to Heidi in the eloquently-written letter below:

Dear Mrs. Heidi Pratt,

As the nation watched you and your husband brave the jungle on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here and continue to brave the ups and downs of ‘The Hills’ and Lauren Conrad, we would like to take this time to present you with an opportunity that will allow you to be center stage—and have a lot of fun while doing so, the letter reads.

As we took note that you will be posing in Playboy soon, we thought you may be interested in dabbling in yet another adventure that will most definitely expose your softer side. As we recently re-opened after a short hiatus, SCORES would be honored to have you dance at our club on the main stage each night for five days, upon which, we will offer you a fee of $25,000.

Best,

Ed Norwick

Source

Minutes after interviewing Heidi Montag-Pratt and Spencer Pratt on the Today show…Al Roker twittered some unflattering opinions about them.

Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for…being infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we’re at minute 11 of their 15.

Heidi reciprocated by ripping the weatherman on Ryan Seacrest’s radio for “personally attacking” her on live TV:

“I was shocked at how rude he was – I was crying afterwards because I couldn’t believe I felt personally attacked … I wanted to say to him, do you feel proud of how you’re talking to me right now? I’m just a young woman and you’re coming at me so aggressively and meanly [sic] and mean-spirited.”

She added, “I just wanted to talk about the show and my experience there and how fun it was, and he just made it a very uncomfortable and awful experience … I really would advise women especially to be careful around him because I feel like he definitely came and attacked me and I did not appreciate that at all.”

Just before Heidi and Spencer Pratt left Costa Rica, the cheesiest couple in America recovered from their traumatic experience on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here at the local Four Seasons hotel.

After Spencer nursed his sick wife back to health at the Season’s, her threw her in a bikini for one last photo shoot before returning to L.A.

Just days after we saw Heidi Montag-Pratt ‘praying over’ Patti Blagojevich in the jungle of Costa Rica on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

…and claiming her severe dehydration was just ‘demons coming out of her’…

we get the news that Heidi (the hypocritical Christian) is going to be getting naked for Playboy.

Details of her Playboy photos are, um, scant: “There is nudity. It’s tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it,” says a source.