Who wouldn’t thunk it? Paula Abdul does have  sense of humor and apparently does not hold any ill will against Ellen Degeneres for stealing her gig on American Idol.

I didn’t watch the show, but I hear that Paula was sober and on top of her game with her medley performance, and of course this impersonation of Ellen Degeneres’ trademark dancing through the audience is pretty much spot on.

So the big news today was that Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol. Yada Yada Yada.

I don’t know..I just don’t buy it. Why in the hell would she leave such a sweet gig? It’s not like there is that much work out there for an over-the-hill pop star with an alleged pill addiction.

Or is there? Tonight on Access Hollywood AI executive producer Nigel Lythgoe said that he would hire Paula as a judge on his other hit show So You Think You Can Dance.

Watch the video here and see if you smell the same fish I’m smelling.

After years of judging America’s youth high as a kite and steadily denying it the whole time, Paula Abdul has decided to come clean about her addiction to pain pills. Coincidentally this coincided with the release of her new song.

“I could have killed myself,” Abdul, 46, tells Ladies’ Home Journal in its June issue. “Withdrawal – it’s the worst thing.”

Abdul says she checked herself into the La Costa Resort and Spa, in Carlsbad, Calif., last Thanksgiving to help beat her use of medication. “I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then chattering and in so much pain, it was excruciating,” she says. “But at my very core, I did not like existing the way I had been.”

“I’m an old school professional,” Abdul says of her “Never let them see you sweat” credo.

This is why you shouldn’t get addicted to…well whatever it is that Paula Abdul is “not” addicted to. When you live in an altered state of reality like Paula, you might not realize you  are being made a fool of by the craftiest comedian alive today. Now I’m even more excited to see this movie than I was before.

A source tells us Sacha Baron Cohen, playing a wildly gay Austrian TV reporter in “Bruno,” conducted a wacky interview with the “American Idol” judge. “Paula was totally fooled. She bought into his character and to this day isn’t aware she was fooled,” the insider said. Abdul’s rep had no immediate comment. Universal, which releases the flick July 10, also had no comment. Texas Rep. Ron Paul has already admitted being tricked into a hotel room by Cohen’s character.

Source

A former American Idol contestant apparently obsessed with Paula Abdul was found dead Tuesday night in a car near Abdul’s house. Thirty-year old Paula Goodspeed was mocked by the American Idol judges when she auditioned and now has died of a drug overdose.

“Ms. Goodspeed’s mother had gone to [the sheriff's department] to report her daughter missing, and advised them that she might be suicidal,” says Los Angeles police Capt. James Miller. “The sheriffs determined that Ms. Goodspeed may be up in the vicinity by Paula Abdul’s house. Our officers discovered her vehicle parked on the street, and found her inside. She was unresponsive to officers.”

The creepiest part is that there was a picture of Paula hanging on the rear view mirror of the death car. The car, parked a few doors down from Abdul’s house, featured a license plate “ABL LV” and had a photo of Abdul hanging from the rear view mirror. A DMV check of the license showed that the car was registered to Goodspeed.

Yes kids, that’s right. Paul Abdul says she has never been drunk. She also claims she has never done any recreational drug. But if you’ve been watching this season of American Idol, you probably agree with me that both of those statements are most likely false.

Paula gives us no explanation for her slurred and garbled speech this season, or that unfortunate interview last month.  She does, however, admit to taking prescription pain medicine for ‘health problems’. And therein lies our answer if you ask me.