I don’t know kids, I’m starting to think that Paris Hilton couldn’t really do any worse of a job as President as the knuckleheads we have running for office. Plus, she’s like….totally hot.

Nylon magazine really dug deep and got into the heart and soul of Paris in their recent interview. (Insert your own eye roll here)  I don’t think anyone is surprised to hear that her dogs have a chandelier or that she thinks everyone who meets her loves her. Come on Nylon, where did your edge go? We could have read this fluff in Good Housekeeping magazine.

What you’d expect.
“My dogs need to live nicely too!  They have a chandelier and moldings and a bed and furniture and air conditioning in their doghouse.  The closet at the top of the stairs, that’s where I keep their clothes.”

What you’d never expect.
“Every time I meet someone – someone who’s honest – they’ll always say, ‘I didn’t like you before.’  But when they meet me, they always think I’m the sweetest, most down-to-earth girl.”

Paris Hilton continues to get smaller everywhere except her giant size 11 feet. The recent drastic weight loss is also making the 28 year old Paris look much older and haggard.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think Paris Hilton may be working too hard. By working, I mean traveling around the world and hitting every hot club and party along the way for money….but whatever. She is really getting scary skinny, even for her. It’s pretty common knowledge that Paris has suffered from Bulimia in the past, I’m sure you will all agree with me and hope that her ‘hectic’ schedule isn’t throwing her back into her eating disorder.

She’s unbelievably annoying and party responsible for the legends of promiscuous pre-teens everywhere but I would never wish an ED on anyone.

I really hate it when no-talent celebutards end up proving me wrong and do something good. This is the second time Paris Hilton has made me laugh with her ‘fake President’ Funny or Die clips.

Has Paris Hilton been stepping out on Benji Madden? There’s some internet buzz out there that says Paris has been out on numerous occasions with MySpace founder and CEO Chris DeWolfe. Insert your own “ewwwww” here. DeWolfe is 47 years old and married.

Paris and DeWolfe seem to be a perfect match; he throws lots of parties…she goes to lots of parties.

Now we’ve got a source in New York that’s confirming the two are dating. DeWolfe is hosting yet another party tonight in the Hamptons, and Hilton will reportedly be there as his date. This is a brilliant marketing move for MySpace (or for Hilton?). Or maybe they actually like each other. All we’ve confirmed is that they are definitely dating.

You can see a video of the triflin’ cheaters HERE.

In an uncharacteristically creative new ad, John McCain compares Barrack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, McCain clams that his opponent is simply famous being famous like Britney and Paris and has no real substance.

This is the first time since the President race started that McCain has shown that he has the cahones of a war hero, and the best part is he has completely pissed off the entire Hilton family. Apparently Rick and Kathy are campaign contributers and don’t take kindly to McCain making a fool out of their eldest. She does that just fine on her own, thank you.

Paris Hilton has become pathetic with a capital P, and that spells Paris. Page Six wrote a nasty little piece about attenton loving Paris moving in right next store to the now homebody-ish Nicole Richie. Paris and Benji have moved in next door to Nicole and Joel and the once quiet Glendale suburb turns into a paparazzi nightmare when PHil starts feeling bad about herself and calls in the troops to take her picture.

“Nicole moved out there to get away from the paparazzi, but when Paris calls them they come to her quiet street and disrupt everything. She’s getting a little fed up.”

I’ve also heard that she makes it a point not to drink alcohol at all in public anymore to keep the pregnancy rumors circulating. Ugh. Soooo oooover heeerrrr. I want to stick a sharp knife in her eye, so I imagine that Nicole really hates her dead by now.