WTH is going on here? It would appear in an effort to give herself some cleavage, Paris Hilton has contorted and squeezed her girls around so much that one nearly slips out and one is being squeezed out the other side.

CLICK HERE to see the undedited pictures.

Benji Madden just lost major street cred in our book. People magazine reports that he is so in love with Paris Hilton that he had to put his feelings to music.

“He actually wrote me a beautiful song, and actually recorded it in the studio. He surprised me with it. It’s called, ‘Shine Your Light.’ It’s this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me.”

We wonder what Benji thinks of Paris using his special, intimate gift to her as PR for the Hilton machine. There’s a lot of vanity in those size 11 feet, kids. She just had to make sure everyone knows that she’s got dude wrapped.

The stupid never stops with Paris Hilton. Not only has she pitched a reality show about grooming pets this week, she has decided that she’d like  to have a double wedding with her BFF Nicole Richie.

Hilton, who is not even engaged to Benji, said she wants to do it in order to sell the pictures from the wedding and thinks she could rake in millions, said one pal. “She’s doing it all for attention, as usual,” said the friend. “It’s a publicity stunt, just like everything else.” Hilton’s rep said, “Not true whatsoever.”

Thankfully, Nicole is not quite as stupid or money hungry as Paris and would much rather prefer to not make her wedding day a laughing stock and tabloid fodder.

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Paris Hilton had to eat a lot of crow this week and call up her former BFF and apologize for telling the entire country that her backside looks like “cottage cheese in a trash bag”.

“I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke. I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!” Kim accepts the apology, telling In Touch, “Paris and I have been friends since we were kids and I’m glad she made the effort to say she’s sorry.”

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Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian are no longer friends. Paris slammed her former BFF on a Las Vegas radio station yesterday when the DJ asked her if she’s rather have Jessica Simpson’s rack or Kim’s big booty. Paris handled it with her usual class and grace and said that “kim’s a** is ewww gross and it looks like cottage cheese inside a trash bag.”

She didn’t really slam on Jessica but she did say that she likes small boobs and wouldn’t her big DD’s either. Yeah, that’s why she is always pushing them up as seen below.

Love this story. Designer Alexander McQueen doesn’t want his new Melrose Avenue store to be a magnet for the young and stupid like Paris Hilton.

McQueen said: “If she comes past the shop, hopefully she will just keep walking. I don’t really covet that sort of thing. I’m not too fond of these openings, I find them quite superficial. The people who wear McQueen wear it because they want to wear it, not because it’s the new thing in town.”

The designer - whose red carpet creations are favoured by Victoria Beckham, Sienna Miller, Katie Holmes and Lucy Liu - also says he wanted his close friend Amy Winehouse to perform at the star-studded opening, but fears she will unable to travel to America.

McQueen is quoted by Los Angeles Times newspaper as saying: “I wanted Amy to come over and perform but she is having visa problems. I have asked another huge star to sing, but I can’t say who!”

We now love and admire Alexander McQueen. We also wonder who really wants Paris wearing their clothes? Is it really a boost for a designer when Big Foot rocks your frock? Most of our peeps wouldn’t be caught dead in something PHil wore.

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Once we saw these pictures we immediately wondered why we haven’t ever seen Paris Hilton bellydancing before. Wiggling around in a skimpy outfit with lots of hip thrusts sounds right up her alley. We are a bit suprised that the Turkish government granted Paris entry into the country, much less let her wiggle on tv. Wouldn’t she be considered “unholy” in Instanbul?

Paris Hilton, the celebrity and hotel heiress who spent a stint in jail last year, said on Thursday she sees herself as a role model for young women as she prepared to judge a contest to crown Miss Turkey. Hilton, who will sit on a jury to select Miss Turkey 2008, said she valued not only beauty but also “good heart” when looking at the contestants’ attributes.

“This is my first time judging anything like this,” she told Reuters. “I’m going to look at how the girls carry themselves, what they look like, the way they dress and what they say.”

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What’s funnier? The fact that Paris Hilton went to South Africa on tour with boyfriend Benji Madden (Good Charlotte) and decided to visit some school kids….or the fact that she visited the kids in designer clothes and gave the children autographed bikini pictures?

Paris got some good press at the expense of the students at the Jakaranda Kinderhuis School in Pretoria, South Africa on Thursday.