The sober coach that the producers of The Beautiful Life hired for Mischa Barton either had the night off or he/she really sucks at their job.

Mischa Barton seemed to have trouble orienting herself at the G- star after-party at the Bowery Hotel. Barton — who recently attributed an involuntary hospitalization to wisdom-teeth complications — stum bled up to the check-in table with a posse of eight. “She kept saying, in a really spacey, weird British accent, ‘Like, I’m with the deejay. I to tally know the deejay. I’m here for the deejay,’ ” laughs our spy. “She was slurring her words.” After being let in, we’re told that Barton “needed to be escorted to the deejay booth” where she proceeded to “stand for about an hour, dancing in her own world. I don’t think her eyes were open to full capacity — or even half capacity — the whole time she was there.

Is there a reason that someone doesn’t pack her off to rehab with Burt Reynolds (who by the way…rocks for going to rehab at 73 years old!!!) so she can really get sober? Oh yeah….they  need to exploit her a little more for ratings.

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What do you  do when know you’ve got a hit guilty pleasure television show on your hands…only your C list star just can’t stay away from the booze (and other things)?

You hire her a ’sober coach’. Ashton Kutcher and company have hired a professional ’sober coach’ to stay with Mischa all they time to make sure she doesn’t relapse and ruin their soon to be hit The Beautiful Life.

One has to wonder what the qualifications are for a job like ’sober coach’. Is it a former addict that can reason with her when she’s feeling low from the tabs making fun of her cellulite and fugly  high-waisted pants? Or is more along the lines of a big-strong-bruiser-type that can physically beat the crap of out any dealer that gets near her?

Mischa Barton can’t even handle her job on The Beautiful Life without flipping her wig and being held against her will in a loony bin. Yet she thinks she can handle juggling two careers at once.

Mischa is hoping to kick off her recording career by releasing a Dylan-esque folk album early next year.

“Music has been a lifesaver for Mischa,” an insider spills to The National Enquirer. “These days whenever she gets depressed or lonely, Mischa scribbles down lyrics, practices chords, and works on her voice. She’s determined to emerge from her crisis with her own CD and an expanded career.”

I don’t even know what to say about this. There is just so much wrong with this story.

As if her addiction issues and crippling self-esteem problems weren’t bad enough..Mischa Barton’s bosses at The Beautiful Life have ordered her to lsoe 10 pounds. ASAP.

According to Britain’s Star magazine, Mischa was “shocked to tears”.

A source tells the magazine, “She knows that means they are calling her fat behind her back.

She knows she is heavier than she needs to be but to hear it like that? It really shook her. How can Mischa play a model when she’s looking so heavy?”

“She’s broken down in tears more than once before shooting. It’s a lot of pressure for someone who is just out of hospital.”

The same source she is handling being called a fatty like a trouper and in true celebrity fashion, will be giving up food completely for the next two months. Not really…but I hope she is giving up the weed for a while..that does make it hard to stay slim.

There’s alot of rumbling going on about how high/stoned/coked-out/tweeked Mischa Barton looked in this video from the big Harrod’s opening sale two weeks ago.

I don’t know..I’m not a big Mischa fan but all I see is an extremely tired girl who sounds like she  has been smoking way too much.

Mischa Barton’s big television comeback may be in jeopardy. Her starring role on the upcoming CW series The Beautiful Life has been left hanging in the balance as she awaits her medical release from the crazy-bin.

According toPageSix, Mischa’s breakdown came after a three-day binge of partying and snorting cocaine. Friends of the former The O.C. actress reportedly alerted the authorities amid fears she would kill herself.

“She’s in very bad shape. She’s running out of money and can’t find love, so now she is looking for a good time to escape her misery. She is on a downward spiral. She is a mess. She is a suicidal, uninsurable mess.�

The actress’ publicist suggests production may have to go on without its star, insisting Barton’s presence on set “will ultimately be contingent upon her progress and doctor’s orders.� And bossses at The CW network have reportedly declined to push back shooting for the show scheduled to begin on July 22nd.

This is Mischa just two days before the 911 call that resulted in her being locked up in a padded room. The swollen cheeks are supposed to be from a problem with her wisdom teeth. Drug addicts often have dental issues….just an FYI.

You knew it was coming. The extreme weight loss, the inability to keep a job, the drug rumors….Mischa Barton is the latest Hollywood Hot Mess.

Not only was a 911 call placed from her home last night and she had to “removed” …she has now been placed under an involuntary psychiatric hold, also known as a 5150, by the LAPD.

Access Hollywood reports that she was then transferred to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. According to the code, authorities can hold a person involuntarily if they present a danger to themselves or others, are gravely disabled or suffer from a mental disorder. As you may recall, this same code was used to hold Britney Spears two different times in January 2008.

What is going on with Mischa Barton? The LAPD say that they were called to assist the actress with a “medical issue” Wednesday afternoon…is that code for “overdose”.

Authorities responded to a non-911 call around 3 PM on Wednesday at the actress’ home. A patrol car responded to the scene and they escorted Barton from her residence to an undisclosed location.

They are “currently assisting� the actress, the LAPD spokesperson told Access on Wednesday night. No other individuals were involved in the incident, the spokesperson added.

On Thursday, a rep for the star told Access that Mischa would not be attending the premiere of her new film, “Homecoming,� on Thursday evening.

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