Sorry Rob Pattinson…you are NOT the sexiest man alive this year!

My man Johnny  Depp beat you…na-na-na-nah-nah!!!!

Break out the Bordeaux, the whoopee cushions and the bangin’ Keith Richards guitar solos, because the 2009 Sexiest Man Alive party is officially under way. Bringing the fun with him wherever he goes – whether it’s onscreen in fizzy roles like Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise or at home with his family on their private Bahamian island – is just one reason why Johnny Depp, who also scored the honor in 2003, has joined an elite club of two-time SMA.

Don’t you wonder what Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter’s house looks like? I picture a dark manse full of old newspapers and odd snow globe collections and wooden toys. It’s probably a very modern, light and airy place but I like my version better.

The Museum of Modern Art honored the genius that is Tim Burton with a retrospective exhibition including 700 pieces of Burton’s sketches, concept art, drawings, paintings and photographs.

His good buddy, and one of my lifelong crushes, Johnny Depp showed up to honor the great one and to show solidarity with the dirty-crazy hair.

Rumor has it that Johnny Depp is so upset that Dick Cook is leaving Disney that he no longer wants to play Capt. Jack Sparrow. Despite the negative response from fans of the film going on without him, Disney is now looking around for a replacement.

Of course the new Disney dude will bend over backwards and kiss his ass if he’ll agree to stay, but Johnny isn’t known for taking roles for money over morals.

Suggestions being thrown around on MTV.com include James Franco , Ryan Gossling and Rob Pattinson. I personally don’t think any of these guys have the chops to fill Johnny’s shoes. But good luck with that new Disney dude.

Johnny Depp is soooo super dreamy. Adding to the list of groovy things about JD is that he is a major good tipper.

After enjoying a long, expensive meal including $500 bottles of wine at  Chicago’s legendary steakhouse Gibsons, he left his waiter a $4,000 tip! That’s right…Four Thousand Dollars.

Waiter Mohammed A . Sekhani told Radar, “Johnny and his party arrived just after 11.30pm at the restaurant and requested a private room. He had visited our restaurant several times before while he was filming Public Enemies and he promised me that he would return after the premiere.”

Added Sekhani : “He also ordered some $500 bottles of Italian wine and he was in good spirits throughout the evening chatting with Mr Mann and Miss Cotillard.

I don’t generally get excited about CGI movies but when you add Tim Burton and Johnny Depp to the mix ..I’m hooked! Not too mention Burton’s crazy-ass wife Helena Bonham Carter playing the Red Queen….it’s gonna be CGI-tastic!

There’s lots more movie artwork HERE including the first look at the Tweddles.

The traditional tale has been freshened with a blast of girl power, courtesy of writer Linda Woolverton (Beauty and the Beast). Alice, 17, attends a party at a Victorian estate only to find she is about to be proposed to in front of hundreds of snooty society types. Off she runs, following a white rabbit into a hole and ending up in Wonderland, a place she visited 10 years before yet doesn’t remember.

Among those who welcome her back is the Mad Hatter, a part tailor-made for Johnny Depp as he collaborates with Burton for the seventh time. “This character is off his rocker,” Zanuck says.

There is the usual Burton-esque ghoulishness (Helena Bonham Carter’s Red Queen, whose favorite retort is “Off with their heads,” has a moat filled with bobbing noggins), but Zanuck assures most kids can handle it. “The book itself is pretty dark,” he notes. “This is for little people and people who read it when they were little 50 years ago.”

In the latest issue of Vanity Fair, Johnny Depp talks about his over-the-top-cool Bahamian private island and how he decided to name the six or seven private beaches.

The island, Little Hall’s Pond Cay (which he calls his “decompression”) features six different beaches, all of which Johnny named after important people in his life. There’s one named after his girlfriend Vanessa Paradis, their two children Rose and Jack, and his two mentors, Marlon Brando and Hunter S. Thompson.

Johnny also dedicated a patch of water to the late Heath Ledger, calling it “Heath’s Place.” After his death, Johnny played one side of Heath’s character in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, so that the film could be completed.

Johnny says of the island, “It’s my way of trying to return to normalcy. Escapism is survival to me. I don’t think I’d ever seen any place so pure and beautiful. You can feel your pulse rate drop about 20 beats. It’s instant freedom. And that rare beast—simplicity—can be had.”

“And a little morsel of anonymity. Whenever I was getting frustrated about being ‘novelty boy’ and making movies, I told myself, ‘Calm down. I can come down here and disappear.’ I spent the Christmas season here with Vanessa and the kids. You can feed hot dogs to the nurse sharks in the Exumas — but it’s best to not swim when doing it.”

He adds that,  “Money doesn’t buy you happiness. But it buys you a big enough yacht to sail right up to it.”

I’m not jealous of Vanessa Paradis at all. Romping around all day barely dressed and barefoot with Johnny Depp and two beautiful children in the sunshine for half the year ….and then heading back to their gorgeous French country house for the rest of the year.

Who needs all that traveling and time zone changes?

Here ya’ go kids, your first sneak peek at Johnny Depp and Tim Burton’s interpretation of ‘The Mad Hatter’. I normally heart all Burton/Depp collaborations and to date I have adored every one of Johnny D.’s characters…even that creepy Willa Wonka. But I’m a bit disappointed with this one…..Am I the only one that thinks it skews a little too ‘Edward Scissorhands‘ and not enough ‘Mad Hatter‘.

Frankly, I expected something much more reminiscent of a bad acid trip, didn’t you? Johnny will be starring in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland along side co-stars Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter (natch), Michael Sheen, Mia Wasikowska, Matt Lucas, Crispin Glover, Steven Fry and Alan Rickman.

The movie will combine performance-capture imagery (like in Beowulf) with live-action footage and should hit theaters in March 2010.

Tim Burton has teamed up with Disney to do an over-the-top update of Alice in Wonderland.

The big-budget production is being financed by Disney, and will be shot in 3-D. Filming will start next year, with release slated for 2010. Unknown Australian actress Mia Wasikowska has won the title role, although no other roles have had casting confirmed.

But our sources tell us there is nobody else that Tim Burton would allow to play The Mad Hatter besides his movie-making BFF Johnny Depp. Natch.