Earlier this week he threatened to ‘forcefully sodomize’ a New York Magazine editor and gave just about the crabbiest, mean and ugly interview ever.

And while we all know the sodomy thing was just a figure of speech….it always makes you proud when the guy you are sleeping makes himself look like an ass.

All the big tabs are reporting today that Jen and John have remained close even after the public break-ups and now working on giving it another shot.

The duo recently spent a night together late last month at New York City’s Bowery Hotel. “Jen was there on the arm of John and they were all very lovey,” says an onlooker. “She was in casual clothing as was he, and she seemed very comfortable around his crowd of friends.”

@perezhilton’s video statement is so long that by the end of it his cut healed.
about 1 hour ago from TwitterBerry
Last year P!nk kneed me in the nuts outside Chateau Marmont. I was pissing blood for days. Did I make a scene?
about 8 hours ago from web
Can somebody please call Amex and get me a replacement card?
about 8 hours ago from web
FollowMonday @police @fire @ambulance
about 9 hours ago from web
I love that @perezhilton uses his cellphone to log on to twitter to post a tweet to ask his followers to call the police for him.
about 9 hours ago from web

JOHN Mayer once tried to pick up pop starlet Jessie James by text-messaging her, “Let me tuck you in.” James told “Boomer & Craig” on WFAN Sports Radio that she met the singer-songwriter in Manhattan. “He had someone send for me [from] across the room,” James related. “He had a bunch of girls with him and he said, ‘We should [all] go back to my apartment.’ ” She said Mayer left first to avoid the paparazzi, and when they got to Mayer’s apartment, “We were all hanging out and everyone started to gradually leave. It was just he and I at this point. I told him, ‘I need some taxi money, I’m gonna go home now.’ ” Mayer asked James for her number and she gave it to him before leaving. She recalled, “He texted me throughout the entire night while I was at the hotel room,” leaving messages like, “Let me tuck you in. I want to see you.”

He had someone send for her…then “let me tuck you in“. Ugh. Insert your own eye roll here.

I knew something fishy was going on with Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer when she took his dumbass back after he ran his mouth about dumping her to the paparrazzi. Jen and John split back in August and now the word on the street is that Jen asked Mayer the Player to get back together just while she was promoting ‘Marley & Me‘. And of course he agreed, since he is the one that caused her so much bad press to begin with.

Jen and her people didn’t want the interviews for the movie to center around her single status..and it seems to have work. ‘Marley & Me’ had a huge Christmas Day opening…even beating out her ex Brad Pitt with that old man movie.

Now that Jen’s movie is bankin’, she’s been anywhere and everywhere except anywhere around The Player. She spent Christmas with her BFF Courtney Cox and is currently in Mexico waiting to ring in the new year with the Cox-Arquette family.

They’ve been seen getting cozy all over town and were even spotted doing some major dirty dancing at a nightclub this week. Sources say that for some reason Jen stayed away from alcohol all night long….here come the pregnancy rumors.

I got into an argument with him. I don’t believe him as much as he believes him. He said something along the lines of, ‘I only shag really stupid women.’ And I said, ‘I guess they would have to be.’ I don’t get him at all.”

It’s good to know there is at least one woman smart enough in the state of California to NOT jump in this guys bed.

Oddly, Baby Olive sure does have a lot of famous grown-up friends. Other party guest were Dustin Hoffman, Ben Stiller, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia, Jack Black, Tobey Maquire, Kate Beckinsale and Jonah Hill. They must do things different in L.A. Where I come from the party is usually about the kid, not the parents Hollywood connections. But whatever, party on Borat!

“It’s a shame she’s attracted to a guy you know is not around for the long haul,” said an Aniston pal, convinced Mayer “will have moved on to someone else by Christmas.”

Ummm….yeah, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. What the hell is wrong with Jennifer? I hope she’s logging some serious couch time with her therapist because there is some sort of crazy behind repeating the same behavior and expecting new results.

Source

“They were very lovey-dovey,” said an insider. “They kissed several times and hugged each other tightly.“John gave her a long, lingering kiss.” Once in L.A. they went their separate ways but judging by the kissing, insiders say there’s more to this than just a friendly plane ride together.

“Jennifer was in New York doing some shopping before she starts promotional work for her new movies, He’s Just Not That Into You and Marley And Me,” said an insider. John was relaxing after finishing his international tour, and they hooked up. “ After spending time together under the radar in New York, they flew to Los Angeles together and looked every bit the couple they once were.

Say it ain’t so Jen….say it ain’t so. For the love of Pete! Go settle down and have babies with a nice accountant or dentist. Without souning too cheesy…He is just not that into you girl!

Tuesday night John played a surprise late night show at the Mercury Lounge in New York where he rattled on about John McCain and juice boxes, Blackberries and how we are all doomed because of YouTube..and yet he still walked away with a pocket full of phone numbers from the girls in the crowd.

For more of John Mayer’s inane ramblings check out the article in The New York Observer. And for JM (because we all know he Google’s himself often) Stop oversharing so much…it’s the mystery that makes the muscian sexy and hip.

Hi, I’m John. Wanna hear about me?

He was basically saying that although he is a triflin’ coward and ended his relationship with “the most sophisticated person I know” by freakin’ text message…he did not cheat!

A friend told us: “She is so intent on getting married and having children, he felt hemmed in. After a 20-minute phone conversation, he just said, ‘I can’t take it any more,’ and hung up. Then he texted, “That’s it – the end.”

Source

“There’s no lying, there’s no cheating, there’s no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met. People are different, people have different chemistry,” said Mayer, who appeared emotional, nervous and sad. “I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.”

I like to think that Jennifer Aniston was not just another notch on Player Mayer’s bedpost and that she in fact, used him for some young musician booty.

Updated: Us Magazine had another ranting quote from “The Player” about the why’s and the how’s of the break-up.

“If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody,” the singer challenged. “Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I’ve ever met.

“She’s one of the most lovely people I’ve ever met in my life and I’m going through something that’s a very personal thing and you have to give that up,” he said. “You have to give everything up because you can’t have it all and it sucks.”

Yeah, it sucks to not be able to commit. Typical. Although to be fair, he does seems much more sincere and truly un-happy about ditching this one. Good, he is one man in dire need of some post-break-up misery.

Source

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time,” says a source close to 30-year-old John. “They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked.

“John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

Source

Anyway, back to the night in question. Kimberly showed up backstage while John was warming up for Sunday’s Hard Rock Calling gig in London’s Hyde Park. John tried to stop the mess before it started by asking a bouncer to have KS removed, but the young Kim refused to leave. Later when Jennifer saw her still hanging around, the you-know-what hit the fan and Kim had to be physically removed, kicking and screaming the entire way.

Ten minutes after being told to leave, she was on the side of the stage, waving at John and cheekily catching Jennifer’s eye while she was taking photos of her fella. We hear: “She had been told twice by security that she would be removed but she stood there bold as brass. Jennifer was on the opposite side of the stage and John felt like piggy-in-the-middle. He saw the tension and told his bouncers to get rid of her at all costs. Kim was pulled off the stage and escorted through the Hard Rock VIP tent with a face like thunder, shouting: ‘Why doesn’t he want me here? Is this because of her?’ “She totally embarrassed herself, but Jen looked relieved.”

Yikes. I sort of feel bad for Kim. She’s like the “ugly girl” in high school that all the guys will call for a late night booty call but would never actually date. Except instead of high school it’s L.A. and everyone from John Mayer to Tommy Lee has been hittin’ that but you never see pictures of her with anyone.

The singer claims no game could ever replicate the joy he gets from playing the guitar for real, and urges fans to grab a real axe and learn to play for real. Mayer tells RollingStone.com, “Guitar Hero was devised to bring the guitar-playing experience to the masses without them having to put anything into it. And having done both, there’s nothing like really playing guitar. I mean, what would you rather drive, a Ferrari or one of those amusement-park cars on a track?”