After months of being MIA, Joaquin Phoenix surfaced Thursday night clean shaven and gorgeous again! You might remember Joaquin’s bearded freak-out last year when he announced he had quit acting and was going to start a rap career.

Thursday night Joaquin joined ex Liv Tyler to tape a promo for To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. (In another promo spot, Phoenix even jokes around with Miley Cyrus, who is also doing work for TWLOHA. She teaches him who Lady Gaga is.)

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Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck continued on their quest to punk the entire entertainment industry Wednesday night.

Joaquin went nuts and  jumped on a heckler while he was performing at the LIV nightclub in Miami. The very bearded Joaquin stumbled onstage at 2:00am…oh did I mention he was supposed to go on at 10:30pm? After a few minutes of mumbling around, the bearded one jumped off the stage and onto a heckler in the crowd. Security had to intervene and escort the crazy man away.

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EVERYONE thinks this Blind Item from Ted Casablanca is about Joaquin Phoenix…I mean EVERYONE. I’m holding out hope that his craziness is still just “pretend crazy’ for Casey Affleck’s documentary…but who knows. Ted C. has has sticky little hands all up in the gossip in L.A.

Brain-Fry Noodlestein’s completely brilliant at what he does—or rather, did. Dude’s throwing it all away—friends, family, well-respected career—’cause he’s hooked on the hard stuff. Much harder stuff than Smokey Shooter would ever consider.

Heroin, babes. And lots of it.

Think the well-worn veins of lascivious ladies Fake à La Ferocity and Morgan Mayhem have the hard drug market cornered in H’wood? Please, Brain-Fry’s beating them at their own miserable game, and he’s barely even trying. But his buds sure as hell are:

BFN’s best amigos, understandably, are up all night either worrying about their depressed friend or following his every move, just in case he hits even lower—an overdose? Jail time?

It’s all a likely possibility with Noodle’s don’t-give-a-damn behavior. They thought they’d already seen him at his worst (professionally, at least, as did many others). But it was nothing compared to seeing Brain-F injecting H right in front of ‘em, which is now a matter, of course, for the iconoclast dude.

Makes us seriously suspect how much these so-called friends care about Brainy’s livelihood—or life—when they could easily nab the drugs out of his shaky hands. But knowing BFN, he’d just find it through some other fame hanger-on who doesn’t give an ef. God knows there are enough of those in T-town to go around.

Brain-Fry really should know better, as he’s seen this stuff happen before. Which is prolly what made him so depressed to begin with. Britney’s public meltdown is just gonna seem like a hissy fit by the time B.F.’s done self-destructing. Believe us on this one.

And It Ain’t: Billy Bob Thornton, Jared Leto, Kanye West

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Joaquin Phoenix continued on his public meltdown and/or Andy Kaufman style prank on us all on the David Letterman show last night.

Joaquin was on the show to promote to his new movie Two Lovers but did nothing more than make the audience laugh at his obvious disinterest in being there. Dave was on point though, so the interview is really funny. If you have five minutes to waste, watch this now.

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All my fellow Joaquin Phoenix lovers can breathe a sign of relief  – the whole bearded, white-boy rapper reinventing himself thing is a hoax. Well, not so much a hoax as it is an “art project”.

Althought JP officially said Bye! Good to the film industry a few months ago, his disastrous three-song show in Las Vegas earlier this month spawned two schools of thought on just what the hell is going on with him. JP, with the help of his brother-in-law/BFF Casey Affleck is either putting one over on us or he has completely lost his mind.

Friends close to the duo say that it’s all fake…but in a good way. “It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,’” says one source who recently worked with Phoenix.

“It’s an art project for him,” says a source. “He’s going full out. He probably has told his reps that he’s quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control.”

Let’s all just humor the “artist” and let him think we believe his heinous rapping is sincere and maybe he’ll get bored and get back to being a hunky movie star.

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