Her coolness factor is like -597.

You know a professional group of people that won’t make her look a pudgy porn star. Or advise her to sell hair extensions.

Just days after the unfortunate dog-eating incident Jess flew straight to Africa to film another installment of her new show The Price of Beauty.

Jessica and co. were not prepared for the climate change I guess.  On the first night in Ugunda,  with the help of her BFF Cacee Cobb and her hairdresser Ken Paves, who are all traveling with her on the show’s dime, she posted this photo, along with the tweet “WTF?!? Do I really have to sleep like this?” on her Twitter feed.

So in the vain hope that Daisy wasn’t dinner last night for some lucky coyote..here is the reward poster and Jess’ twitter about it.

My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!

An insider reveals that, in a state of desperation and loneliness, she’s been secretly hooking up with her ex John Mayer, who unceremoniously dumped her in 2007 after they dated for a year. “They’ve always had an amazing connection,” a business associate of Jessica’s tells In Touch. Ignoring her friends’ warnings that the notorious player will just use her and then break up with her again, Jessica has jumped headfirst into a relationship with the singer now that she and Tony, 29, split. “Jessica is kidding herself that her and John stand a chance,” says a sourc

This actually makes more sense than anything else he’s tried to push her into..she is obviously not a movie star nor a pop/country star….

We hear THAT Jessica Simpson is being pushed to the producers of “American Idol” by her father/manager Joe Simpson as the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul . . .

Flying into Los Angeles

on Thursday, Romo quickly made up for lost time with Simpson but their reunion quickly took a turn for the worse. “They were hanging out and he picked up her phone and she got defensive about it,” the source revealed. “Tony found messages from John and went ballistic.”

Sure there were problems there already if some lame text messages from Mr. Guitar Face ended the relationship. But I’d be willing to be you my laptop that JM is that guy that always dumps the girl but strings her along for years. Doesn’t want her, doesn’t want anyone else to have her. You know that guy. Maybe you are that guy. If you are…you suck.

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A source close to Simpson confirms they broke up the night before her 29th birthday July 10. She was supposed to celebrate with a Ken and Barbie-themed party. (On Simpson’s birthday, Romo spent the night at Los Angeles hot spot My House.) “She canceled her party because of this,” the source tells Us. “She’s doing OK.”

But Jess is twittering that all is good and that she is just soldiering on until Tony realizes he misses those DD’s and they get back together.

“Barbie party didn’t happen, but I turned 29 and feel like I am on top of the world yelling I LOVE GETTING OLDER!” she wrote on her Twitter page Saturday.

Later, she wrote: “Everyone needs to know that hope floats…grab the strings and pull it back to you… Falling asleep with my mom and the dogs. Please, Lord, give all of my beautiful fans, friends, enemies, and family rest. Bring all of us peace.”

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I’m not the world’s biggest Jessica Simpson fan, but I do admire her determination. She’s failed miserably at every career Papa Joe has pushed her into, pop star – movie star- country pop star …but she just keeps going like a size DD Energizer bunny.

If I had to critique her..and you KNOW I do..I’d say she really needs to get a new stylist. Whoever keeps putting her in these very unflattering outfits should be fired…with no severance package.

Check out these pictures of Jess with Tony and Tiger Woods at the AT&T National PGA Golf Tournament in Bethesda, Maryland. Is that dress heinous or what?

Jess recently visited some TV networks to pitch a reality series about society’s scrutiny of women’s bodies.

The premise of the program, titled The Price of Beauty: “She and a friend set off on a road trip around the world in search of what people find beautiful and why,” says a source.

Now that’s the way to turn fat thighs into lemonaide. Was that mean?

Well we did some snooping and found out that she has been dropped by Sony Nashville but she still remains a client of Epic.

Jessica’s reps say, “She was on loan to Sony Nashville for her country album. She is and has always been an Epic artist,” her rep adds. “She continues to be on Epic’s label.”

Although Simpson’s country debut, Do You Know, debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard country charts, it only sold 172,876 copies as of February.

The  poor quality  of these pictures keep us from seeing just what kind of shape Jessica is in, but they do give us some great shots of her booty and it looks AOK to me. In fact, I didn’t think that was her ass at first. But on further butt inspection, I did determine that Jessica Simpson’s ass is still tight and toned.

It’s just those DD’s that get out of control when she gains weight.

I think we can all rule out Nick Lachey and Dane Cook …so that really only leaves John Mayer The Player.

John, ya know, the dude who openly blog-bitched last year to an “ex lover” to “find someone who can put up with you”? The press-loving Mayer man who breaks up with his most recent squeeze right after she flaunts him at the Oscars? And the same guy who made this down-to-earth Texan gal do all sorts of stuff—in the bedroom, as well as in all sorts of other dank, depressing places—she wouldn’t have done if she truly respected herself?

I can totally see that happening with that a-hole.

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In a cowgirl ‘ho chic ensemble.