Gisele Bundchen is about 7 months pregnant by my calculations.

Do you  see where I’m going with this? She’s walking around with this perfectly tiny little baby bump and her long thin legs and skinny arms with no sign of pregnancy stress anywhere!  It’s just not right. It’s ok that they look goddess-like and gorgeous in magazines and on the runway..but when it comes to pregnancy they  should get the hips, thighs and bloated cankles that rest of us do.

Like Kendra Wilkinson did. Now that’s what pregnancy looks like brothers and sisters. Not that tall, thin Brazilian freak of nature above. Thanks to Kendra for posting this third trimester pic, crazy pregnancy nose included.

Props to her for getting away from the paps and just being some pregnant chick in Brazil.

That being said…I freaking hate pregnant supermodels. Where do they get off looking that great while the rest of us waddle around like giant watermelons on legs?

So if this one turns out to be another rumor…just remember to not kill the messenger. Sources say that Gisele is due in early 2010…and who knows this one might turn out to to be true. She is eating at Five Guys these days…

I know it’s hard to imagine a prettier baby than the genetically blessed Jolie-Pitt children but when the Bundchen-Brady baby is born I’m sure it’s going to be like five feet tall, have mommy’s exotic beauty and long legs and daddy’s precision rocket-like arm. This might the beginning of that perfect race thing Hitler was always raving about.

I know this is supposed to be all fashiony-and-fierce, but it looks Numero was trying to make Brazilian beauty Gisele Bundchen look like she is Japanese.

But OMG at those stems in those stilettos!

Gisele was photographed leaving an OB/GYN office on Park Avenue yesterday with Tom, and they both tried really hard to ignore the eager paps that had been waiting around for them, reports Page Six.

Even supermodels have to go to the doctor once in a while..but I think it’s the fact that Tom was with her that’s got everyone’s tongues wagging.

1. She stole her handsome, all-American football hero boyfriend

2. She looks better in a bikini than anyone in the entire world

3. She is now married to her all-American football hero

AND LASTLY and the worst of all; the Brazilian supermodel is walking around a gorgeous beach with her football hero and carrying her child like he was her own.

If that ain’t reason enough to hate a biatch…I don’t know what is.

The injured football player popped the question to the supermodel on a private jet en route to Boston on Christmas Eve, says the Web site. There were four dozen white roses on board, as well as champagne. Gisele’s parents were said to be on the plane when a “nervous” Tom proposed.

Ever the gentleman and nice guy, Tom has decided that the wedding will have to take place in the NFL off season, so his New England Patriot teammates won’t have to share the spotlight with this sure to be grand event.

Sources tell Page Six the Patriots’ quarterback and the Brazilian supermodel are planning a wedding reception at Tavern on the Green. “They were recently there, and Brady had a long chat with Broadway Joe Namath,” a spy said.

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of everyone in Massachusetts putting a voodoo hex on Gisele to get her out of their golden boys life. The Brazilian devil has turned their football hero into supermodel arm candy..and some even blame her for bringing the bad ju-ju that caused Tom’s injury.

This injury requires surgery and lots of down time during recovery. I can’t help but wonder what this means for his relationship with Gisele Bundchen. Will she enjoy the forced down-time and help nurse the superstar back to health? Does she have it in her to bolster his ego while Matt Cassell gets all the New England Patriot quarterback glory? Or will she get bored sitting in Tom’s house and long for her pre-Tom European lifestyle?

I hate to pass judgment on folks, but I just have a feeling that this could be the beginning of the end of Bradunchen. I mean, who will run Gisele’s errands with Tom in rehab for his ACL? Maybe Tom’s injury and lifestyle change will lead to some life ephiphanies. Like, oh I don’t know. He belongs with his baby’s momma?

Portraying Disney characters this go round are Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony in an interpretation of Aladdin, Whoopi Goldberg as the Disney genie, Jessica Biel as Pocahontas and my personal favorite; Gisele Bundchan as Wendy to Mikhail Baryshnikov’s Peter Pan. Look closely and you will see the fabulous Tina Fey as Tinkerbell. Brilliant work Disney!

A Brazilian newspaper reported that when Gisele signed on to represent Pantene hair products she demanded that the brand owner, Procter & Gamble pay her in Euros. The phrase “Life is not fair” seems to apply here. It’s just not fair that someone this absolutely genetically perfect is smart too.

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