Lady Gaga looks almost pretty when she’s all “Beyonce-d Up”.

I’m not sure why this video skeeves me out so …but something about it is very off-putting. I think it’s all the sex-noise moaning.

I have never been more jealous of someone who looks like a drag queen in all my life.

Not only did Beyonce get to visit the Sphinx while in Egypt performing,  I’m sure she got a secret-special-celebrity-secret-passage-way-tour or something. She also, and this really hurts, got to meet and hang with that cool-ass Dr. Zahi Hawass.

For those of you who don’t have a strange obsession with all thing Egyptian, as I do..here’s a brief background on Dr. Hawass. (He is on the Discovery Channel like 1800 times a week) He is like the Egyptian bomb.

World-renowned archaeologist Zahi Hawass currently serves as Secretary General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities, and directs ongoing excavations at Giza, Saqqara, and in the Valley of the Kings. Dr. Hawass received his PhD in 1987 from the University of Pennsylvania, where he studied as a Fulbright Fellow. He has written numerous scholarly articles and books, and is highly respected as an Egyptologist. Over the course of his long career, he has been presented with numerous awards and honors. In addition, Dr. Hawass is known for his charisma and his ability to reach out to the public, raising awareness of archaeology and the preservation of Egypt’s precious heritage.

What I should have said was that Beyonce saved Kanye West’s dumb ass.

Ever the gracious winner, when Beyonce came on stage to accept her award for Video of the Year for Single Ladies she waxed on about how she remembered being 17 and accepting her first award and then called Taylor Swift back out so she could “have her moment”.

Now everyone join me in a collective F-you to Kanye and let’s move on.

If you’ve been hating on Beyonce for being all gorgeous and uber-talented…then take a listen to THIS SHRIEKING AWFUL SINGING.

Howard Stern got his hot little hands on a un-mix/un-produced board recording of Beyonce performing If I Were A Boy on the Today Show and it is hold-your-eyes-awful.

The photo shop artist that worked on these Beyonce pictures needs a raise.

Chris Martin has long been a fan of Jay-Z’s music, and now their collaborations have led to such a close friendship that their wives are getting close to BFF status

The couple “is becoming really close pals with Jay-Z and Beyoncé.” In fact, said the tipster, the four have become so tight, “Gwyneth’s kids call him ‘Uncle Jay,’ and she and Chris were special guests at Jay-Z’s wedding.”

Not that we will ever see them all together. Chris and Gwyn are the most private celebs in the world, with B and J running a close second.

Souce

At least that what it sounds like to me. Beyonce recently admitted that she stayed home on New Year’s Eve because she feels like everyone is staring at her at parties.

“I don’t really go out much. If I wasn’t a celebrity then I don’t know how I would feel, but it’s not that much fun for me – it feels like I’m in a cage and everyone is watching.”

In fact, she says that in her entire life she’s only enjoyed one party.

“Whitney Houston had a birthday party years ago. She sent the girls in Destiny’s Child personal invitations. We didn’t even know she knew us, so we were ecstatic. We put our money together and flew to New York, dressed up and went to the party and we met her. She was such a beautiful person, it was an unforgettable moment.”

Watch Beyonce shake it in 4 inch stiletto’s and skin tight lycra right smack dab in the middle of Rockefella Center this morning.

Sasha Fierce is performing her new single Single Ladies.