Were you scratching your head and wondering how Lindsay Lohan could possibly afford the $115K Maserati sports car she smashed up the other day like I was? She hasn’t worked in over a year and her out of control spending is putting major stress on her relationship with her BFF/SO Samantha Ronson.

Mystery solved! TMZ says that Porn King Dennis DeSantis lent LiLo the car and is ballin’ so hard that he doesn’t even care that she f*ed it all up. Dennis has agreed to let Lindsay keep driving the car after he pays for the $10K repair.

Dennis is the mind behind such porn classics as “Origami So Horny” and “Butt Sluts”.  Actually…. hookin’ up with a big time hard-corn porn producer might be a good career move for Lindsay. Maybe they can do something with “Freaky Friday”.

A mental breakdown, a shaved head, two babies, a very ugly public divorce and living under the tight supervision of her father is not enough to teach Britney Spears a lesson. As soon as Jamie Spears turns his back, she is getting busy with a another back-up dancer.

Has she already forgotten what messing around with a back-up dancer named Kevin Federline did to her life and career?

According to a well-placed tour source, while father Jamie was tending to business in L.A. late this month, Britney hooked-up with a 21 year-old dancer.

“Britney was a bad girl,” says our insider. “Literally as soon as her dad left, she started getting cozy with a dancer named Gio. It wasn’t serious. They had a few romantic interludes, and she bought him a few things — a pair of shoes and some clothes — even though she’s on an allowance.”

But now that Jamie’s back with the “Circus” tour and casting a watchful eye over his daughter again, Brit’s romance has cooled. “Britney was definitely getting jiggy there for a hot minute, but they’ve slowed down since Jamie got back in the picture,” says the insider. “It’s basically over now.”

And just for fun…enjoy this video of Britney screaming out her favorite word…”bitch”…around the :04 mark.

Betthany and Ramona are probably laughing their skinny girl asses off right now. Everyone on The Real Housewives of New York has been getting soooo over Luann De Lesseps and her whole “call me Countess- I’m-writing-a-book-on-etiquette” thing she ’s got going on. So the fact that her husband the Count has just dumped her for an Ethiopian chick is bound to make the NY gals snicker a little bit.

“She got wind he was seeing somebody and he didn’t answer her when she called. He finally sent her an e-mail saying he was with an Ethiopian woman in Geneva and he was serious with her.”

Luann was blindsided. She was just devastated,” the close friend told Page Six. “They have basically lived apart for many years — he lives in Europe and comes and goes as he pleases, but she never thought this would happen.

“It has been very rough for her and the children [Victoria and Noel], but she’s taking the high road and will remain friends with him,” the source added. “She has no intention of making it bitter or becoming angry. She’s just trying to come to terms with [the separation and impending divorce]. She feels this is the ultimate test for her to handle this with dignity and grace.”

Perhaps Luann should teach the Count some manners. Ending a 15 year marriage through email is so plebean. Luann’s new condescending book Class with the Countess will still be published next month…although she won’t be a Countess for much longer.

Sad, sad news for the Buffy/Angel crowd. Andy Hallett, who starred as Lorne the lovable lounge lizard demon, has died of heart failure at the young age of 33.

The actor passed away at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles after a five-year battle with heart disease, with his father by his side.

Andy played the Rat Pack loving, friendly demon Krevlornswarth of the Deathwok Clan (Lorne for short) who served as the charming host and headliner at a demon bar. If I remember correctly, he could also tell your future when you sang karoke songs?

Source

Star magazine says that Nadya Suleman maybe getting some help in the form a big cash gift from The Saint Angelina Jolie.

“Angelina is worried about the best interests of the kids,” explains a source. “As a mom of six, she knows how chaotic and costly raising a big family can be.” And while the money would no doubt help Nadya pay for everything from clothes to schooling, Angelina, 33, does have some misgivings about the gift, notes the source.

“She doesn’t necessarily approve of Nadya, and she doesn’t want to turn the situation into even more of a circus.”

Maybe Angie is hoping she can adopting Nadya’s babies instead of having to travel half -way around the world to find the newest and cutest rugrat. Nadya could be her personal little baby factory. She’s got so many she could actually deal babies to Angie and Madonna and have a few left over for Jennifer Aniston when she finally realizes her eggs are all dried up and decides to adopt.

Hottie Josh Hartnett was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center early this morning in an ambulance for severe stomach pains.

Josh was staying at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood when he suffered a “flare-up” of an ongoing gastrointestinal problem he’s been having for the last several months.

Sources report that Josh is resting comfortably now and is being held for observation. My guess is the cramps are the result of the horrible ulcers he has from his going-nowhere career and the gut eating stress of living in the most self-absorbed and superficial city in the world.

Someone posted this audio on YouTube and claims that it’s Britney Spears voice leaving a message for an attorney. By the sounds of it Britney actually did try (a teeny bit) to fight to her father’s conservatorship.

Hi my name’s Britney Spears. I called you earlier. I’m calling again because I just wanted to make sure that during the process of eliminating the conservatorship that my father has threatened me several times, you know, he’ll take my children away.  I just want to be guaranteed that everything will be fine with the process of you guys taking care of everything that things will stay the same as far as my custodial time.
That’s it, bye.

I think if I looked like Gisele Bundchen I would just stay  home and look in the mirror all day.