Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson look like they are vacationing at the same Mexican resort that Jennifer Aniston has been all week.

It’s painful to see Sam Ronson in a bikini. I don’t think it’s debatable to which one wears the pants in this relationship.

Jack Osbourne has come a long way from that slobbish, lazy rock star kid he used to be when his family was filming their reality show. Twenty-two year old Jack has gotten clean and healthy and now gets his kicks from his British tv reality show Adrenaline Junkie.

Jack’s day job spilled over into real life yesterday as he rescued a girl from getting mugged in the street. He stopped the mugging, chased and caught the bad guy, made a citizen’s arrest, and pinned the mugger down until the cops arrived.

“I could see the girl was in trouble, it just felt like the natural thing to do. I’m glad it turned out okay.”

Suddenly Jack Osbourne’s number on the sexy scale just went up 10 points. How often do we girls see real life heroism these days?

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Janet Jackson was hospitalized in Montreal yesterday after she “got suddenly ill” during her sound check for her Monday night concert. The hospital says that Ms. Jackson is being monitored and her people say that she hopes to reschedule the show soon.

No word on what’s wrong with JJ…Maybe her epic yo-yo dieting finally caught up with her.

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Jennifer Aniston is soaking up some major Mexican sun this week in Cabo. For the third day in a row, Jen has been photographed baking on the beach and looking fan-freakin-tastic in various teeny bikinis.

Things of interest in this set of pictures are 1.) What is Jennifer eating? 2.) Are those just plain old sodas or is she getting her Jack and Coke on? and 3.) Are those people with the dog in her entourage, or are they strangers/fans trying to win a celeb over with their cute puppy? While she is eating lunch.

The selflessness that Adam Goldstein showed Monday is humbling. DJ AM manned up and  dragged his burned and battered body out to attend a memorial service for Chris Barker Monday.

He was photographed with his awful burns poking out of the top of his very un-DJ AM like golf shirt as he headed out to pay his respects to his friend.

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Thanks to Page Six, everyone thinks James Franco is a gay rapist. Page Six ran a blind item in August that practically accused Jimmy of the violent crime. Well..maybe not….but who else are we to believe is the summer blockbuster rapist? Will Smith? Not likely.

“Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex’s apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital – and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut.”

Flash forward 6 weeks and Jimmy Jam is on the cover of Out magazine and from the blurps we’ve read of the interview, coming across as most definitely not a gay rapist. In fact, not gay at all. What do you kids think? Maybe the blind item was actually about Iron Man? Yeah, I could totally see that.

Adnan Ghalib has admitted that he does have in his possession a Britney Spears sex tape. And he is ready to talk business. I suppose you could argue the fact that homeboy deserves the millions he’ll surely get if this is legit…I mean he did have to put up with Meltdown Barbie for a few horrific months. On the other hand, you could argue that he is a triflin’ manipulative goldigging man ‘ho for dating her during what he surely knew was a mental breakdown and taking advantage of it.

I mean …wow…video taping someone who is walking around the streets of L.A. and Mexico in her wedding dress and wearing pink wig because she just shaved her head…that’s a low I’ve never head of anyone sinking too. Of course, if and when the tape surfaces I’ll watch it with the rest of the masses to see just how batshit crazy Britney was in the thick of it. Can you imagine????!!!! Oh my friends…this is going to be good.

Adnan told Heat magazine, “There is such a tape, but I won’t discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries. Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further.”

Travis Barker is getting the hell out of Georgia and heading back to L.A. After nine days in a burn unit of a hospital in Augusta, GA doctors say he left in good condition and good spirits.

Of course we are all glad to hear that he and DJ AM are going to be ok. But what I really help but wonder is if this near death experience will drive Travis back into the crazy stripper looking arms of Shanna Moakler?