Paris Hilton is getting advice from every which way this week. But in this case, the advice is for Paris’ future cellmates. The infamous Patty Hearst was so enraged to learn that the tabloid tv show The Insider is running a story about the advice that she is reportedly giving to Paris that she took the time to send TMZ a letter clearing up the misinformation.

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Dear TMZ,

Imagine my surprise upon learning of the “advice” I had been giving Paris Hilton. In spite of reports to the contrary, I can assure you that I have not had any contact with Paris (or any member of her family) regarding her upcoming jail time, or any other matter. Like Governor Schwarzenegger, I have had many more important things to think about.

However, since I’m thinking about it now, I must say that my heart goes out to the inmates of the Century Regional Detention Center. Forty-five days with Paris Hilton and the attendant publicity seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Perhaps THEY should be petitioning the Governor for relief?

OK, that wasn’t nice. But seriously, if Paris really wants my advice it’s this: Read Candy Spelling’s letter several times and take her advice to heart.

–Patricia Hearst

 

For the aforementioned Candy Spelling letter, read on kids!


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